Working with human nature, not against it.
Adopting a new way of handling difficult things is usually not something you bother to do when everything is going great. Usually you decide you must make a change when there have been tough times. You are built to be drawn toward what is familiar even when that is not in your best interests...
Whether it feels like one thing after another or it feels like big things are not going your way, there is a helpful way to look at it. We all know that there is no “there” to get to where everything is perfect, when we are fully evolved or have our life set up...
When I was thinking about this post, a little scene from A League Of Their Own popped into my head: Well, in the world of emotion, sometimes there is lots of crying! But there is no trying, especially when it comes to feelings you are resisting. Having emotions is about ALLOWING. It is about...
You might be finding yourself in relationship dynamics where you are being too accountable. If you are not sure what this means, take a moment and go back to the last post about this here. I’m going to be honest with you: making a shift in a long standing dynamic is not usually easy....
Anger and guilt are similar in the sense that they experientially disclose true boundaries and values. Not just our intellectual constructs of them. That’s the beauty of emotions, they bypass what we “think” or “expect”. To be fair, that can also be the challenge of them. They can show up without any agreement from our thoughts. And,...
Are you feeling like the issues you want help for are on the social black list? Let’s talk about how to work around shame and so you can get help no matter how bad you think it is. Imagine saying the following statement out loud when you walk into your first therapy appointment: “Ok,...
It’s a state. Like stress. Or depression. Anxiety, stress and depression are usually states that wrap around a cluster of emotions, thoughts or beliefs. So what is anxiety? Anxiety is usually an activating state that comes with being over aroused because there are uncomfortable emotions built up. They aren’t getting the chance to process...
Shame is not exactly a feeling. Shame is an experience human beings have—like depression or anxiety. It is also often a numbing agent. This is not a conscious process. You don’t think to yourself: “Oh, I will just feel ashamed in order to numb myself.” If you’ve experienced shame, which you probably have, you...
The physical sensation of disgust, like many unpleasant emotions, can distract from the feeling’s true message because it is not enjoyable to experience. It is, by nature, repellant. The fact is, disgust can be essential to emotional survival and well being, if we are discerning and open to it. Before we start, let’s quickly...
Frustration is like anger’s more socially acceptable cousin. You don’t want to be a jerk so you say “I’m not mad, I’m frustrated”. I like that you are trying to be nice. That’s sweet. But it’s really not helping you. By labeling your anger “frustration”, you are missing out on the true message your...