Working with human nature, not against it.
There’s a lot of information out there about abandonment issues, but what about self abandonment? And why is self abandonment a problem? Abandonment issues are essentially the fear of being left. Usually because an important figure was not present when you were young. The way this shows up is through having an anxious attachment....
One of the most important things to understand in relationships is your attachment style. It demystifies so much. When you don’t know your attachment style, things you do and feel in your relationships either feel very personal about your partner or about yourself. For example: if you have an anxious attachment and don’t know...
Fighting in relationships is inevitable and, actually, important. The couples I worry about most are the ones that don’t fight. Because it means it’s harder to get to what’s really going on. Fighting can be what comes before a new level of intimacy, a step toward more commitment in the relationship, a big breakthrough...
Asking a child to be “good” or telling them to be “good” slips out so easily. It’s just so ingrained in us to use these words, and the truth is they are words that carry some really strong conditioning that we don’t even know is being transmitted. Being “good” essentially means “well behaved” or...
Being physically drained and emotionally drained are not the same thing. Even though they can sometimes look similar. Why is it helpful to know if you’re emotionally drained? It can save you a fight and it can help you take better care of yourself because being emotionally drained is not something we really know...
This is a big parenting technique that has been taught for decades about how to deal with tantrums and big feelings: just ignore them. And, if we’re being honest, it makes sense coming from a behavioral perspective – reinforce behaviors you want to see more of and ignore behaviors you want to see less...
There’s a lot more information about trauma out there on social media now, which is great because it elevates collective awareness around trauma and how it impacts our daily lives. You’ve probably heard of flight or flight as responses to trauma triggers, but you may not have heard so much about what the “fawn”...
It’s never too early to begin laying the foundation for emotional maturity. Kids will take on what you, as the parent, create as the norm. I recently witnessed a two year old take a full body breath after she started whining, when her mom guided her to take a breath. It was clear she...
Sometimes people do things that get under your skin and they usually aren’t doing them because they’re rude or annoying. More than likely it’s because they are responding to something intense in their internal world. Of course, it might annoy you and push your buttons, everyone has pet peeves. But when people do these...
Have you heard someone say that a person is emotionally unavailable? Or maybe they have said that they are emotionally unavailable. This is a term that gets used a lot on social media so we thought we’d take a moment to clear it up and explain what it is. What is emotional unavailability? “Emotional...