Working with human nature, not against it.
Adopting a new way of handling difficult things is usually not something you bother to do when everything is going great. Usually you decide you must make a change when there have been tough times. You are built to be drawn toward what is familiar even when that is not in your best interests...
I think we go into parenthood with the intention of showing love to our children and staying calm when our children are upset or misbehaving. We plan to parent in such a way that our children will only need to be told to do something once before they listen and immediately follow directions. I...
Whether it feels like one thing after another or it feels like big things are not going your way, there is a helpful way to look at it. We all know that there is no “there” to get to where everything is perfect, when we are fully evolved or have our life set up...
When I was thinking about this post, a little scene from A League Of Their Own popped into my head: Well, in the world of emotion, sometimes there is lots of crying! But there is no trying, especially when it comes to feelings you are resisting. Having emotions is about ALLOWING. It is about...
“Emotions can get in the way or get you on the way.” -Mavis Mazhura So, how are you supposed to tell the difference? Are they getting in the way? Or getting you on the way? Let’s break this down. –> We have emotions that are current. –> We...
Shame is not exactly a feeling. Shame is an experience human beings have—like depression or anxiety. It is also often a numbing agent. This is not a conscious process. You don’t think to yourself: “Oh, I will just feel ashamed in order to numb myself.” If you’ve experienced shame, which you probably have, you...
Emotions are messengers from the internal world. They were designed that way. They are here to help you survive and thrive. Not be a nuisance. When you pay attention to them and keep them clear, you have way more time and energy for the things that are really important to you. That's why I'm...
The physical sensation of disgust, like many unpleasant emotions, can distract from the feeling’s true message because it is not enjoyable to experience. It is, by nature, repellant. The fact is, disgust can be essential to emotional survival and well being, if we are discerning and open to it. Before we start, let’s quickly...
Frustration is like anger’s more socially acceptable cousin. You don’t want to be a jerk so you say “I’m not mad, I’m frustrated”. I like that you are trying to be nice. That’s sweet. But it’s really not helping you. By labeling your anger “frustration”, you are missing out on the true message your...
No one enjoys feeling guilty. It might be hard to believe there could be anything helpful about it. There is. It tells you something about the kind of person you are. There is even actually something helpful about shame, which seems like a relative of guilt. Stay tuned to hear about that, or better...