Working with human nature, not against it.
You read that correctly. A sheep in wolf’s clothing. Jealousy gets villainized. It is regarded as unbecoming. And, I get that. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater… This post is #8 in a series of 10: Ten Basic Emotions and their Messages. Before we start, let’s quickly set the...
No one enjoys feeling guilty. It might be hard to believe there could be anything helpful about it. There is. It tells you something about the kind of person you are. There is even actually something helpful about shame, which seems like a relative of guilt. Stay tuned to hear about that, or better...
I know. It feels like you are. You feel guilty about it. But, really, the fact that you feel guilty about getting annoyed a lot reveals that is not your true nature. You see, guilt is an indication that you have travelled outside the range of your values, ethics and true essence. So, if...
There doesn’t seem to be anything redeeming about disappointment. It’s not exactly a feeling one appreciates. But there actually IS a gift inherent in disappointment. This post is #4 in a series of 10: Ten Basic Emotions and their Messages. The central point is: The human emotional system is built as a messaging system. Each...
I know, being sad is a bummer. Most people don’t want to sign up for experiencing sadness. It’s not exactly pleasant. However, sadness is actually an important part of the human experience. Just like it is important that our cells die off and replace themselves. If they did not, we would not grow taller...
The human emotional system is built as a messaging system. Each emotion has a general message it wants to convey. Once that message is delivered, the emotion or the wave of that emotion can subside. Sometimes it takes a little time for the emotion to process through the body, sometimes it is relieved right...
Willingness. It is the one thing that determines how successful my clients are in therapy, and ultimately, in their life. Why? Because it is a state of openness. Ultimately, if there is a challenge showing up, it is happening because there is an adjustment needed. A lesson wants to be learned. A shift wants...
Why is dealing with tears so hard sometimes? People apologize for their tears in therapy all the time. They say “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry today”. Or I will see them actively try to stop their tears. And this is IN THERAPY. Where tears are actually part of the expected terrain....
Did you know you are setting boundaries all the time, maybe without even knowing it? In the personal growth world, there is a lot of talk about boundaries. First of all, what are they? Boundaries are a framework around relationship dynamics. They are the rules between people about how they interact with one another....
Do you ever feel like you are doing all the work? Having the SAME discussion all the time and there are no changes? What if I told you that there is a finite amount of emotional space? When you are all over the emotional space of an issue, you might be crowding it. This...