Working with human nature, not against it.
If you’re human, you use defense mechanisms even though you might not consciously know it; and so does everyone you know. And when you can actually see them, your communication, problem solving skills, emotional health and relationships improve. Let’s break this down – what they are and how they work – so you can...
There’s a lot of conversation around holding boundaries with people in our life. But how about with ourselves? If we are putting an emphasis on something like boundaries in a relationship, we also want to check in on what we are doing around that very same topic in our relationship with ourselves. Let’s talk...
How many times have you been in a conversation with a well meaning loved one and you were told something like “don’t cry”, “don’t worry”, “at least xyz didn’t happen” or “you know what you should do….”? What happened next? Did you feel heard? Did you feel like sharing more? My guess is you...
Until I trained as a therapist, I never intentionally paid attention to what happens in the process of communicating with someone. Communication just happened. As I learned what process vs content meant, I realized how much information is embedded in the actual process of communication. I spend time with clients in session often helping...
How many fulfilling conversations are you having in a day? I know life is busy and it’s easy to slip into auto pilot, so that might even be a hard question to answer. You and everyone else you are talking with in your life, from strangers to loved ones, fundamentally want one thing. To...
What if your spouse, loved one, best friend is not the bad guy? What if you aren’t either? Let’s be honest, sometimes it feels good that the other person is the “bad guy”. Then we get to be right, justified and safe. At the same time, we know that actually isn’t worth much in...
The people in your life might not even register this information consciously, but they act on this information. I see how the quality of someone’s listening can open or close doors. I see how relationships flourish or disintegrate as a result of the how people listen, reflect and are curious about one another. I...
Everybody loves to share their thoughts on what and how you are doing. How are you supposed to filter through all that feedback? There are two ends of the spectrum here. There is the end of the spectrum where you trust what other people say about you or what you should do over trusting your own...
Did you know you are setting boundaries all the time, maybe without even knowing it? In the personal growth world, there is a lot of talk about boundaries. First of all, what are they? Boundaries are a framework around relationship dynamics. They are the rules between people about how they interact with one another....