School has started back up and despite this being the same old routine, you still find yourself frustrated and upset with the morning routine…
Where are your kid’s shoes?
Where is their homework?
Why are you feeling rushed and irritated yet again?
Is your child challenged with school academics, having meltdowns after school, are they struggling with big feelings?
Are the social pressures becoming hard to navigate?
Do you find yourself constantly torn between and unsure of how to manage screen times and the ever changing and increasing demands of technology for kids and teens?
Are you as a parent struggling with how to support your child find yourself wanting to have a more harmonious family experience with your children?
Are you and your spouse or partner misaligned on parenting strategies and approaches?
What if the key to helping your child actually lies in helping yourself first?
Enter Parent Therapy; a powerful tool to empower you to make more positive affirming choices as parents and can make a world of difference for your and your child and family.
Why Should I Go To Therapy Instead Of (or in addition to) my Kid?
The concept that a parent’s well-being and emotional balance can significantly impact a child’s emotional health and behaviors is not just a theory; it’s actually backed by research. Several studies have examined and linked outcomes of improved child well-being when parents are in their own personal psychotherapy. When parents are under stress, dealing with their own emotional difficulties, there is marital or parental misalignment and/or parents are struggling with unresolved issues, it can affect their parenting style, their ability to respond effectively to their child’s needs, and the overall family dynamics (READ: love + connection in your day to day, long term emotional, relational and mental health for you and your kids).
Therapy for parents can create a ripple effect of positive change throughout the family.
Here’s why it’s worth considering:
1) It Can Give Parents Better Coping Strategies
Parents often face a range of stressors that can impact their own abilities to regulate and cope with their own feelings, which in turn impacts their ability to support their child effectively. Therapy can equip you (parents) with coping strategies to manage these stressors better, ensuring that you can remain a stable and supportive presence for your child and model positive coping for children to practice as well.
2) It Can Support Parents Having Improved Emotional Regulation
Parenting through any stage of life and development is an emotionally draining process. Therapy helps parents develop better emotional regulation strategies, reducing the likelihood of reacting versus attuned responding. When you can better manage your own emotions more effectively, understand and have some insight into why you are responding in that way then you can better approach your child’s issues with greater calmness, patience and understanding.
3) It’s Role Modeling Healthy Behavior
Children are like sponges, learning and following by example. When they see their parents seeking help and working through their own issues, it models the importance of mental health and self-care. Teens in particular are more likely to seek support and help when faced with depression and/or anxiety if they have a parent that has been or is going to therapy.
4) It Offers Awareness and Parenting Approaches
Therapists can offer insights into reasons your child may be behaving or responding the way they are. Simply put, there is a reason that your child or teen is reacting or behaving in this way, and we as therapists can help you determine the meaning underneath the behaviors. This guidance can help you understand your child’s behavior from a psychological perspective, leading to a more tailored parenting approaches that will work best for you and your child.
5) It Can Prevent Parental Burnout
Therapy provides you with a space to explore your own unique feelings and experiences on your parenting journey. Having someone to share these experiences with that is outside your circle of family and friends gives you an opportunity to have an unbiased feedback and support to reflect so you can make conscious choices about how you want to show up as a parent. It is a space to share without judgement that may in turn reduce the risk of burnout (read about parental burnout here, yes, it’s a thing!) and ensure you have the energy and resilience needed to be the best parent you can be.
If you’re considering therapy, here are some great next steps:
- Start by identifying specific areas where you feel overwhelmed or where you may be struggling with your child/children.
- Find a qualified therapist who specializes in family dynamics and parental support can be just the support you may need to give you a boost through whatever challenges may be occurring in this phase of parenting. Contact us and request Chelsea Derossi, MFT, ATR
In the end, investing in your own well-being isn’t just beneficial for you; it’s a powerful way to contribute to your child’s growth, success and well-being.
This article was written by Chelsea Derossi M.A., LMFT, ATR. Chelsea currently works at One Heart Counseling Center with parents in all stages of parenting! She has completed specialized training with Postpartum Support International and is a Licensed PMH-C (perinatal mental health counselor).
*Research addressed within this blog post came from several sources. If you’d like some additional comprehensive information on the topic here are some resources below:
Clinical Considerations When Treating Adults Who Are Parents
By Maureen Zalewski , University of Oregon Sherryl H. Goodman, Emory University Pamela M. Cole, Pennsylvania State University Katie A. McLaughlin, University of Washington
Published in CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY: SCIENCE AND PRACTICE V24 N4, DECEMBER 2017
Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want To Be
By Dr. Becky Kennedy
