I’m sure you’ve had the experience in your life of wishing someone would change. It can bring up a lot of anger and conflict. Maybe you’ve even felt powerless to change things for yourself. There are lots of reasons people don’t change. Let’s talk about a few to open up space and realize that...
One of the Most Underrated Relationship Skills
Throughout your life you will connect with people you encounter at school, work, and in your personal life. As you develop relationships with different people you will need to utilize a variety of skills to maintain positive, healthy relationships that make life more enjoyable. In the age of blocking + ghosting, there is one...
What Are Defenses? Do I use them?
If you’re human, you use defense mechanisms even though you might not consciously know it; and so does everyone you know. And when you can actually see them, your communication, problem solving skills, emotional health and relationships improve. Let’s break this down – what they are and how they work – so you can...
What is your attachment style in relationships?
One of the most important things to understand in relationships is your attachment style. It demystifies so much. When you don’t know your attachment style, things you do and feel in your relationships either feel very personal about your partner or about yourself. For example: if you have an anxious attachment and don’t know...
Do you fight dirty in your relationship?
Fighting in relationships is inevitable and, actually, important. The couples I worry about most are the ones that don’t fight. Because it means it’s harder to get to what’s really going on. Fighting can be what comes before a new level of intimacy, a step toward more commitment in the relationship, a big breakthrough...
Is Over-Explaining a Coping Strategy?
If you find yourself being long winded, can’t fit your written response into the allotted space, you use lots of parentheses when you write, you find the need to explain every no or if someone double texts or emails you because you didn’t respond… this blog is for you. Over-explaining can be used to...
I know Fight or Flight, But What is A “Fawn” Trauma Response?
There’s a lot more information about trauma out there on social media now, which is great because it elevates collective awareness around trauma and how it impacts our daily lives. You’ve probably heard of flight or flight as responses to trauma triggers, but you may not have heard so much about what the “fawn”...
3 Things You Think Are Rude, But Actually Aren’t Personal
Sometimes people do things that get under your skin and they usually aren’t doing them because they’re rude or annoying. More than likely it’s because they are responding to something intense in their internal world. Of course, it might annoy you and push your buttons, everyone has pet peeves. But when people do these...
What’s the Difference Between Gaslighting and Invalidating?
Gaslighting is a term that has been thrown around a lot on social media lately. But most people don’t really even know what it is or how it compares to other behaviors, so let’s clear things up a little bit. Let’s start by defining gaslighting. It is “psychological manipulation of a person, usually over...
How to Prepare for Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can be so helpful to work through issues and learn positive ways to communicate with your partner. The couples who see the most impactful results are those who start sooner. Destigmatizing couple’s therapy and preparing for the process together can set you and your partner up for a successful therapy experience. When...