Working with human nature, not against it.
Are you feeling like the issues you want help for are on the social black list? Let’s talk about how to work around shame and so you can get help no matter how bad you think it is. Imagine saying the following statement out loud when you walk into your first therapy appointment: “Ok,...
It’s a state. Like stress. Or depression. Anxiety, stress and depression are usually states that wrap around a cluster of emotions, thoughts or beliefs. So what is anxiety? Anxiety is usually an activating state that comes with being over aroused because there are uncomfortable emotions built up. They aren’t getting the chance to process...
Shame is not exactly a feeling. Shame is an experience human beings have—like depression or anxiety. It is also often a numbing agent. This is not a conscious process. You don’t think to yourself: “Oh, I will just feel ashamed in order to numb myself.” If you’ve experienced shame, which you probably have, you...
Emotions are messengers from the internal world. They were designed that way. They are here to help you survive and thrive. Not be a nuisance. When you pay attention to them and keep them clear, you have way more time and energy for the things that are really important to you. That's why I'm...
The physical sensation of disgust, like many unpleasant emotions, can distract from the feeling’s true message because it is not enjoyable to experience. It is, by nature, repellant. The fact is, disgust can be essential to emotional survival and well being, if we are discerning and open to it. Before we start, let’s quickly...
Joy. Yes, that feeling you want, that everybody wants, but you never want to have to think about it. Let me be honest. When I read headlines that mention happiness or joy, I’m like “sure, but I have really important things to do like help people and run a business. That’s sweet that other...
Frustration is like anger’s more socially acceptable cousin. You don’t want to be a jerk so you say “I’m not mad, I’m frustrated”. I like that you are trying to be nice. That’s sweet. But it’s really not helping you. By labeling your anger “frustration”, you are missing out on the true message your...
You read that correctly. A sheep in wolf’s clothing. Jealousy gets villainized. It is regarded as unbecoming. And, I get that. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater… This post is #8 in a series of 10: Ten Basic Emotions and their Messages. Before we start, let’s quickly set the...
No one enjoys feeling guilty. It might be hard to believe there could be anything helpful about it. There is. It tells you something about the kind of person you are. There is even actually something helpful about shame, which seems like a relative of guilt. Stay tuned to hear about that, or better...
I know. It feels like you are. You feel guilty about it. But, really, the fact that you feel guilty about getting annoyed a lot reveals that is not your true nature. You see, guilt is an indication that you have travelled outside the range of your values, ethics and true essence. So, if...