Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
Logic might say that healing anxiety comes from stopping it. For example: trying to control anxious thoughts or avoid situations that make you anxious seem like they might be ways to get relief from anxiety. But relating to your anxiety like this is actually making …
Extra-curricular activities like sports and art classes are important for kids. They promote skill development, socialization, regulating energy levels, and physical health. But, when you’re trying to set up your kids’ after school schedule, there’s a reason not to lump therapy in with art and …
You’ve probably heard before that things get worse before they get better when you start therapy. For adults, the reason is because you start to open your eyes to things you might not have been aware of in your life and in your past.
For kids, it’s actually really different. Here’s why:
Initially kids might be excited to have time that’s completely focused on them. They get to play, or do art, and they build a connection with the therapist. Or, if your kid is a little more cautious, they might be a little quiet at first and then warm up over the first few sessions. So things start out good and all seems well until the newness starts to wear off and things go a little deeper.
Your child will act it out in their relationship with the therapist. They will not want to talk about something hard, they will lie, they will want to leave, they will have the same complaint about the therapist that they have about their teacher. The same behavior of bouncing off the walls at school will show up in the therapy room.
This is called “reenactment” and this is a good thing.
Why? Because it lets the therapist work with the exact issue that is bringing your child to therapy LIVE. As therapists, we want this because it’s much more effective to work with a live issue than to try to communicate with your child about some abstract (not present here and now) issue that they don’t want to talk about.
The struggle is: they will tell you they don’t want to go to therapy or they don’t like the therapist. As a parent your instinct is to take care of your child and making them do something they don’t want to do can feel wrong. But you got to this point of attending therapy out of love and concern for them, so don’t make yourself feel bad about encouraging therapy.
If your child comes to you complaining about therapy or their therapist and doesn’t want to go, this is when you need to have a parent session. Of course, your kid will be very convincing and you will want to listen to and protect them but you may not want to immediately pull them out of therapy without digging a little deeper.
A parent session can help you assess what is really going on and if there is a legitimate reason to discontinue and/or find a new therapist, or if they just don’t want to experience the uncomfortable feelings of working through their issues.
You have already invested a few hundred dollars in therapy, plus driving time, plus all it took you to find the therapist and set up the relationship in the first place.
If you really don’t think it’s a good match between the therapist and your child, that’s OK! But don’t waste your investment by not finding out the therapist’s perspective on what’s going on. This is literally what you paid to get.
If the issue that’s come up in therapy is a re-enactment, I would strongly consider keeping your kid in therapy to see it through. Ask the therapist what he/she recommends, collaborate to see how the re-enactment can be a way to resolve the exact symptom or pattern that you came to therapy to resolve.
Ask the therapist about how to get your kid to keep coming to sessions when they don’t want to. Also, check out this article here about kids being resistant to therapy.
Even if it makes sense to end therapy, you will at least have this information about the behavior and it will be super helpful when you work with another therapist.
The problematic behavior was created for a good reason and it’s hard to let go of it. It may not be a positive coping skill but it is a coping skill that they have come to rely on. Nobody likes change, even if the behavior is causing all kinds of issues. Most people will try to maintain homeostasis. Known and familiar is better than new and unfamiliar to the brain.
So, of course, they’re going to resist change. You might also feel like it’s hard to create change even though you want relief from the problem. Change is hard for lots of reasons and we talk about several of them here.
But it’s important to put in the work now when you are already in the therapeutic relationship and have support. You’re here, now it’s time to do the work. You can do it, so can your child. But it will require going through some discomfort.
Hang in there. Partner with your therapist and move forward together.
Maybe you have recently had some time off and your routine has been different because your family has been in holiday mode; but now it’s time to get back into your groove. This is actually a great time to reflect on what parts of your …
There’s a lot of pop mental health advice floating around on social media these days and I’m totally here for it…well, some of it. Should we be more informed about trauma, emotional intelligence, relationship dynamics and attachment issues? Yes,100%! Although it can be beneficial, there …
Holidays can be a fun time, but they can also be stressful, not just for you, but for your kids!
Let’s talk about some ways you can support your kids during the holidays so that the stress is not overwhelming to them or you.
Things get kind of hectic during the holidays: there are events to attend, changes in routines, and people around that your kids may not typically see the rest of the year. Communicating with your kids about these things ahead of time will help ease any anxieties they may have.
One way to share information with them is by creating a calendar with the events and activities you have scheduled and hang it on the fridge, or another central location. This way they can look at it to see what’s coming up and be prepared. If you have younger kids who cannot read, you can use pictures instead of text (or a combination of both).
Talk to them about who may be at these events, how long they will last and your behavior expectations. For instance if it’s a fun, relaxed activity let them know they’ll get to dress in comfy clothes and it’s okay for them to run around and play. If it’s a serious event (like a church service), explain that they may have to dress up a little and remind them that the expectation is to sit still and be quiet.
Talk to them about who will be there so they are prepared. Will it be mostly adults? Will other kids be there? Will they know everyone there or will there be some people they don’t know?
Sometimes it’s not necessarily the event that stresses kids out but just the uncertainty about what it’s all about and getting there and realizing it’s much different than what they thought it would be. Ease that stress by giving them info up front in ways that are developmentally appropriate for them.
It is definitely hard to keep a consistent routine for your kids during the holidays. Whether you typically have a strict routine or a more relaxed one, more than likely you have some constants when it comes to how you do things and the times they are done.
It can be exciting for kids to get to break the routine a little during the holidays, like staying up late to watch a Christmas movie or getting to eat extra sweets or snacks. But if you go too far off of their regular routine it can really throw them off and create stress, which could lead to them not feeling well or to behavior problems.
Try not to be so rigid that you miss out on opportunities to have some fun as a family but remember that consistency and routines can be comforting to kids so keep some constants in your schedule.
As a parent you may feel like you have to do everything yourself which can lead to you not only feeling burnt out but also ignoring your kids, making them feel left out. Getting your kids involved can make them feel important because they get to be a part of what you are doing and spend time with you.
Depending on the ages of your kids, you can give them tasks to help out with like wrapping presents, decorating, helping in the kitchen, etc.
Our instinct is to just do these things ourselves because we know we can get them done quickly. Having your kids help out means it will more than likely take a little longer because you have to supervise them closely, but the time you get to spend together will produce memories that you may not have created if you had not let them help out.
Getting your kids involved can help you create traditions that they can look forward to every year. Completing certain tasks like decorating the tree or helping bake cookies will become associated with family time and fun memories. In turn, the opportunity to help out will help reduce their level of stress when the busyness of the holidays starts to kick in.
Also, this helps them build skills along the way that will help them in other areas of life, which raises their confidence.
If you see that your kids are getting extra cranky or acting out during the holiday season, take a step back and see how you can adjust your schedule or slow down and spend more time with them so they don’t feel stressed out or overwhelmed. Making sure your kids feel supported and enjoy the special moments during this time of the year is what’s most important.
It’s the time of year where you probably have more contact with your family members. This means conversations may be coming up where you learn that a family member is needing your support. There is strong societal messaging around the fact that you should always …
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When you think about therapy, more than likely, you think about a traditional therapy session with someone sitting on a couch and talking to a professional. However, therapy can include more than just talking and sometimes art can be used as a tool for a therapist to use to help their patients express their emotions. It may sound unconventional but it’s actually very common. Let’s talk about what art therapy is and what the benefits are.
Art therapy is a type of expressive therapy that has been around since the 1940s that uses the process of making art to explore and express emotions. It uses the creative process, imagery and the metaphor rather than using only words to explore, understand and heal.
Art therapists are professionally trained just like any other type of therapist. They are trained to work with people of all ages in various settings. They are able to assess their clients using art techniques and the non-verbal communication that takes place during a session.
Using art, both you and your therapist can have expanded access to what is happening for you. The art work and the art process provide clues about the underlying factors that may be resulting in depression, anxiety, irritability, anger, confusion or feeling stuck.
“The creation or appreciation of art is used to help people explore emotions, develop self-awareness, cope with stress, boost self-esteem, and work on social skills.”
Techniques used in art therapy can include:
There may be some verbal communication during a session or there may not be. The therapist may give some direction on what they want the client to create or they may let them take the lead and choose what they want to do. Every session can look different based on the client’s needs, goals and preferences. Art Therapists are trained to know what is best suited for the goals and needs of each client and session.
Art therapy can be used for a variety of situations or disorders that are physical or emotional including cancer or other medical diagnoses, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), stress, depression and relationship problems.
Both adults and children can benefit from art therapy. For children or adults who are reluctant to open up verbally, art therapy is a good option for them to express themselves in an alternate way.
It can also be beneficial for couples to use this type of therapy to explore and overcome relationship challenges. People do not have to be naturally artistic or excel in artistic activities in order for art therapy to be beneficial.
It may not be effective for everyone. Some individuals may be skeptical or just not interested in this type of creative expression and that’s okay. With any type of therapy it’s important to find what works for you and where and how you feel most comfortable expressing yourself.
(www.arttherapy.org/upload/2017_DefinitionofProfession.pdf)
At One Heart Counseling Center we offer art therapy and know it’s a powerful way we can support individuals who may be searching for an alternate style of therapy to meet their needs. Our staff are mostly Marriage and Family Therapists AND Registered Art Therapists, which means they have had extensive education, supervision, training, experience to use art therapeutically in sessions.
Every year as summer comes to a close, we transition into fall and then immediately into the holiday season. It seems to happen pretty quickly and for some people it is exciting and they thrive on the energy and hustle and bustle but for others, …