It’s natural to feel responsible for things you’re not responsible for. Feeling like everything is on you can be exhausting and can lead to breaking you down physically and/or emotionally. Let’s talk about 3 things that you can let go of and remind yourself that you do not have to be responsible for in 2025.
Making everyone happy
We all want the people in our lives to be happy. It’s okay to want people to be happy, but to carry the weight of ensuring their happiness at all costs, will have a negative impact on you.
If you feel like it’s your job to keep someone happy, check in to see if that’s what they’re actually asking of you. And if they are, it may be time for a conversation to balance out the responsibility.
But what seems to happen more often is that we put this burden on ourselves. Making others happy may make you feel validated or liked; or maybe you don’t like conflict so you want people to be happy to keep the peace. No matter the reason, you go to great lengths to make sure people are happy, even if it means you are uncomfortable or have to do things that cause stress, or unhappiness, for yourself.
It’s not a bad thing to care about others and be concerned for their well-being. However, “the key is to examine your motivations and intentions. Don’t do things only because you fear rejection or want the approval of others. Keep doing good things, but on your own terms.”
Apologizing for your feelings
Everyone experiences a variety of positive and negative emotions, it’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of. We don’t find ourselves apologizing for the positive ones, just the negative ones…why is that? If you wouldn’t say sorry for feeling happy, then why would you say sorry for feeling sad or upset? Those feelings are real and you shouldn’t feel like you have to apologize for them when they come up.
Apologizing for your feelings is not necessary. The only thing that could require an apology is how you handled an emotion. We discussed the habits of emotionally strong people in a previous blog; check it out to learn how to make an intentional choice to respond to your emotions in a healthy manner.
Solving Every Problem
Most people fool themselves into believing that they can solve every problem in their life and the lives of their loved ones. Thinking this way can lead to unnecessary stress because when a problem can’t be solved, you feel like a failure. If there’s a problem and you can easily fix it or help to make it better, great! But you have to remember that sometimes there are things that are out of our control and we do not have the power to fix them.
You may put this pressure on yourself or others may put this pressure on you. Are you the go to person in your family or friend group that people look to when they have a problem that needs to be solved? If so, this may be flattering because it means they trust you and think you have the skills needed to fix things. But it can also be overwhelming if everyone looks to you to save them; or if you just think it’s your responsibility to save them.
“It’s okay to set boundaries, protect your energy, and let go of what isn’t yours to manage. Peace comes when we focus on what’s truly ours and release the rest.” (evolvecounselingaz. “20 Things that are Not Your Responsibility.” *Instagram, December 14, 2024, www.instagram.com/p/DDhkL7Ny2Rg/?igsh=ZGUzMzM3NWJiOQ%3D%3D)
Do what you can to help solve problems for others, or yourself, but accept the fact that you may not be able to always fix it and that’s okay.
Going into a new year is a chance to look at what behaviors and habits have served you well over the last year and what has caused you stress or held you back in some way. Letting go of the things that you do not have to be responsible for can lead to a happier, healthier year for you and those close to you. If you need support to assess and address your own behaviors and habits, contact us, we can help.
