Maybe you have recently had some time off and your routine has been different because your family has been in holiday mode; but now it’s time to get back into your groove. This is actually a great time to reflect on what parts of your routine have been working and what hasn’t.
Sometimes we drive ourselves too hard with a strict schedule around work, school, working out, extracurricular activities, etc. and time off of that routine gives you some contrast and space to reflect on things that you may want to change.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to reflect and to set yourself up for success in the new year.
When did I feel like I was most connected, happy, relaxed?
Sometimes you don’t realize it in the moment, but you can look back over a period of time and see the moments where you were really content and felt at ease.
What were the circumstances? If you are able to pinpoint those moments, think about where you were, who you were with, what your schedule was like and any other details that created the environment that led to you being content.
How can I bring more of that into the new year? Once you have identified these circumstances, look at how you can duplicate them going forward. Maybe it’s a person you can spend more time with, a place you can visit more often or a routine you can duplicate in the new year.
When did I feel most stressed or dysregulated?
Just like with the happy moments, you may not immediately recognize that a situation is stressing you out at the time it is happening. You may just push through and act like everything is fine even when you are feeling off because you just needed to get through it. But given the chance to really reflect back on it, you can see that it was overwhelming or created emotional stress.
What were the circumstances? These can be expectations that you put on yourself that were unrealistic, or the expectations of others. It can also be people or environments that you felt obligated to be around.
Do I want to make a note not to repeat that next year? There are some people and environments that you may not be able to avoid but if there are things that stress you out that you can eliminate, then make a mental note, or an actual physical, written note, to not repeat it next year. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that unrealistic expectations or pressure we put on ourselves is not worth it and it will not be the end of the world if we let some things go.
What from my/our normal routine didn’t I miss? Is it possible that I/we might not need to do that anymore?
We typically give ourselves more grace over the holidays to not hold such a rigid routine, like a certain time frame to get things done or a certain diet, etc. You may realize that that thing was not as important as you thought it was. Now that doesn’t mean you should throw all your goals and positive habits out the window, but it is a good time to assess them and see if they were really necessary.
What from my/our normal routine did I miss? Let a little more appreciation for that in.
If there is something that you changed about your routine and you are really missing it or you are feeling really down or stressed out now that you aren’t doing it anymore, then that may be a sign that it’s good for you. Some things in your routine may make you feel more grounded and productive and taking them away creates some uneasiness or lack of structure.
Sometimes we get stuck in a rut and don’t realize that it’s time for a shift or an update. And having a little break from our normal routine can give you some insight into that! As we move into a new year there are lots of ways you can support your mental health and looking back at your routine and asking yourself these questions is a good start.
If you need support getting your family back into the swing of things or had some revealing experiences over the holidays with your family you know it would be helpful to process, we’d love to support you. Contact us.
